Unconditional Love....

Many of you have been following Britt's cousin's recovery through her Caringbridge site or through her mom's blog. The following is a journal entry Katherine wrote and it truely captured the unconditional love they have for each other. Katherine and Jay are keeping to their wedding vow promise....."in sickness and in health".


Katherine's journal entry......

Tomorrow is Jay's Birthday, (no, not an April Fool's joke!)and I wanted to write a little something to honor him on the eve of his special day....

To say that Jay Wolf is the love of my life would be a vast understatement. Throughout this ordeal, he has encouraged and comforted me unlike anyone else. In addition to going to every therapy session, he flosses my teeth, puts on my lipstick, feeds me all my liquids and medications through the tube, shaves my armpits and legs, lifts me on and off every machine at the gym, brushes and blow dries my hair, puts on my deodorant, he takes me to the bathroom EVERY SINGLE TIME I have to go, and he recently sat down in the manicurist chair and fixed my manicure! He also tells me ‘I am beautiful’ and that I am ‘the best thing that has ever happened to him‘. It is so sweet. You can imagine that I feel so unworthy. Since I cannot do much on my own, it is hard to receive this kind of unconditional love.

Jay has been there every step of the way to be my advocate and my friend. Even when I was in ICU, he would talk to the doctors and make decisions. Jay demanded (and still demands) a level of care that is very high. Around the neuro-rehabilitation facility, they call him Dr/Nurse Jay. He does not mess around! Since my voice is really hard to hear or understand, he can speak up, and I am so grateful. He understands me perfectly and ‘translates‘.

In addition to all Jay has done for me personally, he has had to ‘step up’ and make so many decisions. Since my AVM, we have moved twice. He had to pack up everything we have in the world ALL ALONE. He has had to deal with the insurance company and determine where I should go to get the best care. He has also prayerfully decided to wait until next summer to take the Bar exam and has postponed it for a year because of me. Lastly, Jay walked across the stage for graduation without me in the audience. My stroke happened a month before his law school graduation, and so he was allowed to graduate, but I could not be there.

Jay has had to become “Mr. Mom” and he has embraced the role. Because I cannot even lift the baby, he has really had to be Mommy and Daddy. (I should mention that Sarah Wolf, his sister, and both our moms have worked like dogs to care for this little one. We constantly have someone here to help with James, and they have all been amazing!) Jay has never emotionally shut down. He deals with me and also deals with the baby. He can have been to therapy all day and still play with the little guy afterward. For James’ first birthday, he addressed invitations and wrote thank-you cards for all the gifts. For our Christmas Cards, he addressed every single one of them by himself!

Above everything else Jay has done for me, he had the good sense to take out a wonderful PPO catastrophic insurance policy for us. This has enabled me to get the very best care throughout this ordeal. This has also meant much less stress and “drama” throughout this reality in our lives. I would never have done that, and I honestly have no idea where I would be today without it.

Jay has loved me without asking for anything in return. Since I can do nothing, he has never asked for anything. True love means that he does not want anything from me, he just loves me freely and as I am. True love is healing and takes you through your darkest valley and loves you while you are there.

On his birthday, tomorrow morning, I am giving him this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEYed9Foins. I think he will love it!